There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
