we have pet lesbian snakes
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
