I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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