was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
He passed out mid-signature
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
