Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Randomize
