your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Randomize
