wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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