Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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