Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
