Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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