And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
