I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
