Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
