Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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