i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
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