I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
