Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Randomize
