Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
