Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Randomize
