He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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