Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
