you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Randomize
