I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
