do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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