There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
