if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
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