but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
