You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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