The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
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