Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
