im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
My cat gives me a boner
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
