Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Randomize
