The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Randomize
