just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
