He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Girls should come with a carfax report
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
