Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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