my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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