I just saw a hot homeless man
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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