I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
