That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize
