yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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