that's an acceptable place to lick
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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