Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
