I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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