There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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