I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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