what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
