Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Randomize
