What a fucking waste of an outfit
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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