I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Randomize
