drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.�
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
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