so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.�
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
