OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
