he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.�
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
