Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
