All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
She's the barista slut.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
