Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Randomize
